A full 13 percent of South Koreans think they are inadequate as parents for their children, the largest portion of them citing their “overly emotional behavior” around their kids, a government study showed Monday.

The study, organized by the Gender Ministry, surveyed 1,000 parents with children in schools. Of the children, 635 children were aged 10-12. Among the surveyed parents, 31.7 percent perceived themselves to be good parents, while 55.3 percent said they were neither good nor bad as mothers or fathers. At the same time, 13 percent said they were not doing a good job of raising their children.

Among those who perceived themselves as inadequate parents, the largest portion of them, 34 percent, said it was because they often react too emotionally toward their children. Meanwhile, 20 percent said they were unable to spend enough time with their kids, while 17 percent said they were incapable of giving their children enough financial support.

Also, 7.5 percent said they had trouble balancing work and family life, while 5.9 percent said they simply didn’t know how to be with their children. Almost 3 percent of the parents said they couldn’t help but compare their children with others.

However, the study showed the vast majority of the surveyed children were in fact happy with their parents. Among participants, 91.9 percent said their mothers were great at parenting, while 87.7 percent of them said the same on their fathers.

Yet the study showed that the surveyed children and parents had different views on what makes for good parenting. Although the largest portion of both groups -- 46.4 percent of parents and 23.6 percent of children -- said a good parent is someone who is a good listener and spends a lot of time talking to their children, they thought differently on other qualities and aspects, such as temperament and financial support.

While the second largest portion of the children, 16.1 percent, said a good parent is someone who makes time for their kids, only 6.7 percent of the parents thought the same. Also, 10.4 percent of the children said a good parent is someone who can put themselves in their shoes and makes effort to understand their perspectives. Only 6.1 percent of the surveyed parents felt the same way.

The groups also had different views on financial support. While 6.5 percent of the children said a good parent is supposed to give full financial support, only 1.3 percent of the parents agreed. Also, only 1.1 percent of the parents saw “not being overly angry” around their children as an important quality of a good parent, although 5.7 percent of children felt this way. More than 5 percent of the children also said a good parent keeps his or her promises to their children, but only 1.4 percent of the parents thought the same.

The Gender Ministry has been promoting policies to curb child abuse -- among which a majority of 80 percent is committed by parents -- and encourage constructive relationships between parents and children. As part of the measures, the Gender Ministry has been actively encouraging young parents to attend educational programs on child care and parenting since earlier this year.

But another ministry study found that only 23.6 percent of the surveyed parents have attended parenting classes. When asked why they did not consider taking such classes, 49.5 percent of them said they simply did not have the time, while 34.6 percent said they didn’t think such classes were necessary.

Gender Minister Kang Eun-hee said the government plans to come up with a parenting education program in which teachers visit homes and workplaces of students, adding that 78.6 percent of the surveyed parents said they would be willing to take such classes if they were more accessible. 

“A happy family life requires education and preparation,” said Gender Minister Kang Eun-hee. “Our goal is to make sure every parent has access to parenting education as long as they want to participate.”

By Claire Lee (dyc@heraldcorp.com)