Since the beginning of their prolonged war, corruption has been telling democracy that the latter is far from perfect, and that only by forging a pact together can both thrive. Democracy has been alternating between half-hearted resistance and full rebellion against the suggestion. But then along comes Donald Trump, in the freest land on Earth (or so it seems).

Corruption: How will you explain the fact that someone branded a jerk, con-artist, IS recruiter, phony, plain idiot, big liar, phenomenal hypocrite, flip-flop master and “biggest threat to humanity” is on the threshold of the Republican nomination, and possibly the U.S. presidency?

Democracy: First, that’s the beauty of an anything-goes political system. It’s better to elect a moron to political office, than have a moron come and dictate your life and not be able to do a thing about it. Second, the free system is doing its best to get rid of the guy you are talking about.

Corruption: Well said. My first question is: What’s the difference between being governed by the first moron and the second moron? A moron is a moron, isn’t he? My second question has to do with how they get rid of the guy. If voters want him, that is.

Democracy: He hasn’t officially won the nomination yet, so I’m not answering that hypothetical question.

Corruption: Fair enough. But your system is mostly about hypotheses, right? You assume that a candidate for power is better or worse than others based on what they tell you. Besides, my question is simple. If the majority of Republican voters think Donald Trump is good, should the Republican Party do the “undemocratic” thing and reject him?

Democracy: No, the party definitely shouldn’t. I give you that. But we are still a long way from seeing the majority of Americans saying Donald Trump is good.

Corruption: You’re pinning your hopes on Hillary Clinton, aren’t you? She has become your potential savior, hasn’t she? Or, are you hoping, as the jokes go, that assassins from the future will come and take care of Trump or give his young, would-be father a condom?

Democracy: All I’m saying is that the people will eventually decide. They will choose the best among equals, or even the best among the bad. That’s the good thing about my system. The people can swallow it, spit it out and swallow it again, all with their own free will.

Corruption: Only the free wills aren’t really free. Admit it, there must be better people than Trump in America. Your kind of system doesn’t allow them to be seen, heard or compete.

Democracy: Such a fair-weather remark from someone like you is funny. Politics everywhere needs money, and money is a whole lot better than the barrel of a gun. Being able to choose between two morons spending big money to make you think they are not what they are, is better than not being able to choose at all.

Corruption: Are you saying that it’s okay to be deceived and put the person you think will deceive you less in office? Is that the merit of your system?

Democracy: The system has far bigger merits. What can I say? The “intention” of the system is good, but I’m not sure about the people.

Corruption: That’s exactly what I have been talking about. I offer you a pact because it’s a compromise between your idealism and my pragmatism. I know more about human nature than you do. All I need is for you to stop advertising yourself as pure. Graft always finds a way because in every system there are people. Call me a cynic, but people in politics always try to find loopholes, and it doesn’t matter which system they are under.

Democracy: You can corrupt all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can’t corrupt all the people all the time. My system guarantees that. My system is based on the belief that there is goodness in every person.

Corruption: And your system has delivered Donald Trump, who’s emerged with all guns blazing. And now that I’m at it, didn’t Hitler rise to power through an election? In other words, wasn’t that monster born in your kind of system? To stretch it a little, could Trump become another Hitler?

Democracy: There have been countless unelected tyrants since the beginning of time and you pick on someone who you think was associated with me.

Corruption: That “someone” caused a world war and almost annihilated a race, with all due respect. And the Earth, Heaven and Hell continue to hold their breath...

By Tulsathit Taptim

Tulsathit Taptim is a former editor-in-chief of the Nation, which is published in Thailand. -- Ed.

(Asia News Network/The Nation)