Koreans are inquisitive by nature. A foreigner who visited Korea in 1892 wrote, “Koreans are curious and like to meddle in other people’s business.” Even today, the Korean people seem to enjoy gossiping and prying into each other’s affairs. An upside of this innate curiosity is the community spirit that enables us to share many things together in a group-oriented society. The downside is that it is offensive and rude to others, especially to foreigners. 

Thankfully, young Koreans do not seem to have inherited this undesirable legacy from the older generation. In English, a meddlesome person is sometimes referred to as a nosy parker or a busybody. You ask people to stop poking their nose into your business when they are being overly inquisitive. Korean also has a colorful term for the more inquisitive members of our society: “People with a wide ojirap.” Ojirap is the Korean term for the lapels of one’s outer garments. Young Koreans use the slang “ojirapper”’ a portmanteau of “ojirap” and “rapper” (a rapper of gossip, if you will) to describe these busybodies.

Ojirappers are a dime a dozen in Korean society. For example, on national holidays such as Chuseok or Lunar New Year’s Day, your relatives will gather at your house and bombard you with personal and embarrassing questions: “Why don’t you get married?” “Did you get a job yet?” “How much money do you make?” and so on. On reading advice columns like “Annie’s Mailbox,” I discovered that even America has its share of people with a proclivity for meddling. The ojirapper might be a universal malady, after all.

The right answer to these inconsiderate questions would be: “That’s none of your business,” yet you cannot dare say this to your seniors in Korean society. You just have to endure the embarrassing questions in silence. It is only natural that young people hate to be home on national holidays and want to go vacationing overseas instead.

The list of offensive questions is endless. Once I witnessed an uncle embarrass his nephew by remarking, “How come you have such a dark complexion?” There is nothing you can do about your complexion, so no one has the right to pass such rude remarks. However, in Korea, it is not unusual to find people remarking on your skin tone frequently. Many Koreans do not seem to realize that it is a taboo to refer to another person’s color.

I happen to know a 5-year old girl who is cute enough, but not as pretty as her mother. Her mother once confided in me that she hated waiting at bus stops or taxi stands. I was saddened and embarrassed on learning the reason. Whenever they were waiting for a bus or taxi, people would almost always point at the daughter and ask, “Is she your daughter? She does not take after you.” The mother should have retorted, “What’s that to you?” Instead, she would just reply feebly, “Yes, she is.” Of course, the little girl knows the importance of the words. In fact, she is so hurt by these inconsiderate remarks that whenever people look at her and her mother, she calls out “Mom!” in an attempt to prevent them from asking the dreaded question.

When you tell people you have a baby girl, someone is likely to butt in and say, “You should have a boy, too.” On learning that you have only one child, they will tell you right away, “You should have another.” When someone gains weight, people will make fun of the person, calling them a fatso and telling them to stop stuffing themselves. If a slim person eats just a little at a restaurant, people will say rather sympathetically, “Come on. You are so skinny. You need more flesh on your bones.” Why do they not mind their own business? Why do they insolently refer to other’s physical appearances? These kibitzers need to undergo therapy so they can learn to stop poking their nose where it does not belong.        

Another thing Koreans should know is that their greetings might sound unpleasant as well. When a Korean sees his friend, he will say to him or her, “You don’t look good. Are you sick?” To the Korean people, such greetings mean, “I care about you.” As a global citizen, however, you cannot say such things to others, especially to foreigners. It is an extremely clumsy way of greeting a person. Instead, you should say, “You look great. What’s new?”

When a political issue is at stake, all Koreans stick their nose in it, and the whole nation is caught in an uproar. Why not let the politicians deal with it? But then, politicians, too, bring the issue to the street, inviting the public to butt in. That is why we say that everybody is a politician in Korea. So a Korean saying goes, when everybody dips their oars in, the boat finds itself on top of the mountain.  

Dear ojirappers, please mind your own business! 

By Kim Seong-kon

Kim Seong-kon is a professor emeritus of English at Seoul National University and the president of the Literature Translation Institute of Korea. — Ed.