With South Korea’s growing affluence, the Korean people are now more concerned with public etiquette and aiding others than ever before. For instance, people honk less frequently than before on the streets, stand in line for the subway and buses in an orderly fashion, and behave politely in everyday life. Koreans have even begun to help less developed countries through various programs administered by the Korea International Cooperation Agency, recognizing the favors their country once received from the international community. 

Nevertheless, Korean society is plagued by many social ills, many of which accompany affluent societies. For one thing, the suicide rate has skyrocketed. There are a growing number of people in contemporary Korean society who choose to take their own lives when challenged by ordeals, instead of confronting and overcoming them. Some people take their own lives because of financial difficulties. Every year we hear tragic stories about high school students who take their lives after failing the college entrance exams. Even soldiers, who should be brave, surprise us by killing themselves, leaving behind notes with words such as, “Life is too hard. I cannot stand it anymore.”

The divorce rate, too, is rising steeply these days. It seems young people are choosing to get a divorce just as easily as they are deciding to get married. A recent report states that a considerable number of newlywed couples in Korea divorce within three years of marriage. Thus, a common joke these days warns that one should wait for three years before giving something valuable to your married son or daughter, since your ex-daughter-in-law or ex-son-in-law will claim half of it in the case of a divorce. I once witnessed a newlywed couple break up during their honeymoon. Even three years was too long for the unfortunate pair.

The so-called “twilight divorce” between older couples who are over 60 is growing more and more common in Korea as well. Twilight divorces are caused by the undesirable social phenomenon called “early retirement,” which is widely practiced by Korean companies these days. With their husbands forced into early retirement, Korean housewives are finding the freedom they have enjoyed all their lives suddenly suspended. Korean wives cannot tolerate having their husbands stay at home day and night, having grown accustomed to absentee partners who go to work early in the morning and return home late at night. In fact, how can an older woman accept an omnipresent husband who no longer earns a crust, but simply follows her every move, invading her personal space at home?

Disputes between neighbors are also rising in Korean society. Fights regarding noise are common among residents of apartment complexes, as the ceilings and floors of modern day apartments are too thin to muffle sound. Recently, a short-tempered person stabbed his noisy neighbor to death during a verbal fight. Some modern-day citizens surely need anger management therapy.

Similar phenomena can be found in other countries as well. For example, about 50 percent of married couples eventually break up in the United States. Children who come from broken families usually have psychological trauma. Many of these children also seem to have a secret fear that their marriage might also turn out to be a disaster, just like their parents’ marriages. Perhaps that is why the so-called “commitment fear” is common among Americans. I have seen a number of American couples that are reluctant to say, “I love you,” or to tie the knot even after they have been living together for some time due to this “commitment fear.” This is quite inscrutable to most Koreans who tend to believe that if you fall in love with someone, you should marry the person as soon as possible.

In contrast, many Americans seem to adopt a much more complicated and time-consuming process before deciding on marriage. For example, a man and a woman will go out for a few dates to see if they like each other. If they decide they do, they will go steady. Then, they may move in together to see if they are compatible living partners and soul mates. When they are certain that they can live together, the man proposes and they marry at last. But even after such a long process, the ending is not always happy.

In a country such as the United States, where independence is encouraged and various therapists and psychologists are plentiful, the suicide rate may not be as high as in Korea. But the crime rate in America is surely much higher than in Korea. Despite ostensive economic prosperity, both Korea and the U.S. seem to suffer from the acute ailments of an affluent modern society. Nevertheless, we should try to heal our psychological wounds and strive to build not just a richer, but also a spiritually and mentally healthier society.

By Kim Seong-kon

Kim Seong-kon is a professor of English at Seoul National University and president of the Literature Translation Institute of Korea. ― Ed.