Sept. 7, 2013 marked the first major, public wedding ceremony in South Korea for a gay couple. Film director and producer Kimjo Gwang-soo, 48, and long-time partner and film distributor Kim Seung-hwan, 28, were married near Cheonggye Stream with about 1,000 guests in attendance. The wedding was briefly interrupted when a 54-year-old man claiming to be a church elder went up on the stage, sprayed filth from a food container, and shouted, “Homosexuality is a sin. Homosexuality destroys families and society.”

The putative elder’s interruption reflects the heated passions surrounding gay rights and same-sex marriage. For many young, progressive-minded Koreans, the elder also symbolizes the intolerance and homophobia of the Christian community.

We argue that the elder’s uncivil behavior does not necessarily represent the views of most Christians, especially of thoughtful, educated ones. National University of Singapore professor Robert Woodberry writes that Protestant missionaries have historically served as a powerful force for liberty and democracy in developing countries.

“Conversionary Protestants were a crucial catalyst initiating the development and spread of religious liberty, mass education, mass printing, newspapers, voluntary organizations, most major colonial reforms, and the codification of legal protections for nonwhites in the 19th and early 20th centuries,” he writes.

Here in South Korea, western missionaries and Korean Christians have been at the forefront of expanding rights and opportunities for marginal groups, from schools for women (e.g., Ewha), to support organizations for the vulnerable, often undocumented, immigrants (e.g., Ansan Immigrant Center, Joint Committee for Migrant Workers in Korea).

Evangelical Christian leaders, especially from Western societies, generally oppose same-sex marriage, but still support basic human and civil rights for all minorities. Rick Warren and other leading American pastors publicly criticized a Ugandan parliamentary bill to impose harsh penalties on homosexuals. They also strongly supported former President Bush’s Emergency Plan For AIDS Relief, a $15 billion program to fight the global HIV/AIDS pandemic in Africa.

Many religious leaders in South Korea, and Korean-Americans in the U.S., also distinguish between SSM, which they oppose on biblical grounds, and basic human and civil rights for all persons, which they strongly support.

Said Mormon leader Ronald Nielsen, Seoul Temple President (2000-2003) and Public Affairs missionary (2009-2011) in South Korea: “WE ARE NOT anti-gay. We are for the family, and that’s why we didn’t want gay unions to be confused with what we called proper heterosexual, one wife and one man, marriage. We want to keep the marriage as something special, sacred. But in the church, we are fine with civil rights for gays, such as military service.”

Richard Shin, the senior pastor of Los Angeles Glory Church and the former President of the Council of Korean Churches of Southern California, firmly opposes SSM, but declares that churches have a duty to invite, understand and communicate with all groups, including gays, saying: “If we just keep criticizing gay people, they will never come to church.

Therefore, we need to sincerely embrace them. We need to pray for gay people. We need to embrace them, and make shelter for them. We do not hate gay people, but we hate (homosexual practice). We should always open our heart and try to talk to (homosexuals).”

We remind and call upon our Christians in Korea to uphold their heritage of human and civil rights. One can certainly oppose SSM, but still treat gays with decency and civility. Conversely, we call on our gay brothers and citizens to patiently engage with the democratic process. Progressive feminist Anne Phillips writes that “programs for radical change have to capture people’s hearts and minds and cannot depend just on directives from the state.”

Gay rights advocates need to engage in the long-term process of persuasion and changing individual hearts and minds, and not simply rely on our nation’s courts. In fact, as seen with abortion and SSM controversies in the West, judicial intervention often leads to bitterness and hardening of hearts among religious conservatives.

We can and should debate the merits of gay rights legislation, including SSM. Still, we can all agree not to demonize each other, but to show a modicum of respect and civility. We could combine the courage of one’s convictions with a certain degree of humility that one’s convictions may not always be correct. A spirit of humility and empathy will help us to exercise reasonable, imperfect judgment as we debate, and potentially redraw the lines on, marriage and sexuality. 

By Joseph Yi and Shin Do-sung

Joseph Yi is assistant professor of political science at Hanyang University and lecturer of public administration at Hankuk University of Foreign Studies in Seoul, Korea. Shin Do-sung is senior student of public administration at HUFS. They can be reached at: josephyi@uchicago.edu or shindo88@hanmail.net. ― Ed.