Tuned an octave lower than the viola and an octave higher than the bass, cello is said to be the instrument that most resembles the human voice.

For former child star and actress Lee Jae-eun, the instrument serves as a metaphor; it prompts her desire to find her “own voice” as an individual, after almost 30 years of living her roles.

“My life has been all about pretending (to be someone else),” the 33-year-old actress said during a press showing of her theater debut “La Dame au Violoncelle” (The Lady of the Cello).

“For example, when I play Lady Jang Hui-bin (one of the best-known royal concubines of Joseon period), I am living as her, pretending to be her. But my roles and their voices don’t represent who I am.”

Born in 1980 in Boseong, South Jeolla Province, Lee literally grew up on television. She made her TV debut at the age of 4, and acting has been her sole career ever since.

The actress recently revealed to the local media that she has been the sole breadwinner in her family ever since she started working as a child star. She had a difficult relationship with her late father, who was incapable of financially supporting his family. He died of cancer in 2008.

The ongoing play reflects Lee’s isolated experience growing up as a child actress, as well as the young provider for her family. The monodrama, originally written by French playwright Guy Foissy, tells the story of an unhappy, depressed woman who is accused of murdering her husband. The play is an eerie and difficult quest for happiness, while the cello is used as a symbol for the woman’s suppressed desire, her voice, and her alter-ego ― her “everything.”

“I very much feel for her,” Lee told reporters. “There is a line where she says, ‘I pretend to be happy, pretend to be happy, pretend to be happy.’ And I think I often felt the same way as well.”

Lee remembers certain lonely moments, including one where she was hanging out with her friends in her younger days. The gathering was interrupted by strangers who recognized Lee, and she recalls how uncomfortable it made her feel.

“I felt as if my celebrity status was an inconvenience to my friends,” Lee said. “So I offered to leave, saying, ‘Hey, I’m really okay with this. You guys have fun.’ But I was in fact not okay at all. I, too, wanted to hang out and have fun. But I’d always pretend as if I was fine.”

The actress reportedly went through depression and sudden weight gain after the death of her father. It was her husband, dancer and scholar Lee Kyung-soo, who suggested she do the play to restart her career. He makes a brief appearance in the show as well.

“I stayed at home for almost two years,” Lee said, recalling her difficult years after the passing of her father. “I wouldn’t even go out for walks because I wanted to avoid people recognizing me.

“But I am grateful that my husband created this opportunity for me. The protagonist unfortunately fails (to love herself), but I would really like to try and give myself attention and affection.”

“La Dame au Violoncelle” runs from June 5 to 30 at You-Theater in Cheongdam-dong, southern Seoul. Tickets range from 20,000 won to 30,000 won. For more information, call 1544-1555.

By Claire Lee (dyc@heraldcorp.com)