This is the first in a series on how to get by as a vegan or vegetarian in rural Korea. ― Ed.

Korea is a meat and seafood lover’s dream. Grilled pork or beef is ubiquitous, and fresh catch can be seen everywhere. But for three years this fact was my nemesis ― I’m vegetarian.

Until my last move to Gwangju, I lived in cities generally regarded as small and conservative. These did not have Indian or Mexican restaurants and my choices near work were usually limited to kimbap, noodles or tteokbokki.

The first year was a long one, but by year three I had discovered various recipes using readily-available ingredients.

Whether you came to Korea a veg, want to cut back the calories, or save the environment, I’d like to help you access vegetarian food ― even if you live far, far outside of Seoul.

First, learn enough Korean to say what you do or don’t eat. A very catchy song by yours truly can be found on YouTube (search “Korean Veganism”) with minor spelling errors.

At the least, try to frequent the same restaurant regularly. Picking the same thing out of your food more than a few times communicates as well as words, even if it is a little inconvenient.

Second, accept that rural Korea is about as friendly to vegetarians as rural America (I am thinking steakhouses and dirty glares). Since you’re eating like a Buddhist monk, try to be patient like one. “A little meat” or “chicken meat” might not be “meat” to whomever with you’re speaking.

Explain you don’t eat any meat. And restaurants’ take on what “seafood” means can vary. It might not encompass clam, shrimp, anchovies or something else. Expect to inspect and pick at your food. If you have allergies or a medical condition, try to eat near a hospital (I’m only half joking).

Broth will almost always contain meat or seafood. If you can, just ignore it. Finally, accept that sometimes you can’t get what you want. I have ordered various dishes “without the meat” and been told simply, “It won’t taste good. Order something else.” Tinkering with structure is not built into Korean food culture and you should expect some resistance.

Two phrases can grossly simplify your life: “Jega cheshik ju-ui-ja imnida.” (I’m a vegetarian) and “Jega bulgyo seunim choreom meogseumnida.” (I eat like a Buddhist monk).

If you want to be fancy, try telling them, “Modun chongnyu gogi/haesanmul ppego juseyo.” (Take out all kinds of meat/seafood.) But like I said, don’t expect it to work perfectly. Better yet, watch as a frustrated proprietor attempts to remove all the seaweed from something but gives you the tiny shrimp.

Many people have lamented that “vegetarian” kimbap contains ham, egg, and sometimes fake crab. These ingredients are considered “integral” to the kimbap and taking them out is considered as strange as taking out the rice. So specify “ham” “gyeran” (egg) and “oyangmatsal” as unwelcome.

Alternatively, simply lord over the preparer at the kimbap station, vigorously shaking your head, crossing your arms in an “x,” and protesting the ingredient. This works very well provided your embarrassment threshold is high. After having numerous people stare at you like a space monster, as happens to foreigners in the countryside, it should be.

Next week, we will focus on the dishes that are most vegetarian-friendly. After that, there’ll be a guide to markets and supermarkets before focusing on useful ingredients and their various uses. 

By Darren Bean!

Darren Bean! is a former prosecutor and lecturer in the Department of Criminology at Chosun University. He can be reached at themagicbean@hotmail. com. The exclamation mark is part of his legal name. ― Ed.